Yesterday was a day I will never forget. I met a woman who has changed my life in the most profound way and she is one of, if not the most amazing person I have ever met. She is my daughter's adoptive mother. She is her mother & she is incredible.
So we met at a beautiful outdoor shopping area that's about half-way for both of us. We only live 2 hours away from each other! We were to meet in front of K's favorite crepe restaurant. I probably sat in my car for a good 15 minutes before getting out because I was so incredibly nervous! Shaking!! As I walked up the pathway, I saw her in the distance. She turned and saw me & the first thing she said as I came toward her was, "You walk just like her". We just embraced each other and started to cry. It was amazing! We held hands and walked over to a bench, under a tree and sat and talked about everything!!
I told her about my past and how the guilt & shame has suffocated me for so many years & she held me and assured me there was nothing to feel ashamed of. She didn't know my story. She only knew I got pregnant when I was 15. She didn't know I picked them out of a book filled with strange faces, with only the social worker at my side. Mom, was so angry and embarrassed she sat in the other room as I struggled to understand with what was happening. I told her how damaged I felt ever since the paperwork was signed, but she grabbed my hand and told me how strong I was, and that this was just the beginning of a whole new life!!
She told me how proud K is of me and how much she loves me. That she tells everyone about me and has a picture of me on her binder that she takes to school!! She told me that she loved me too and that I am a part of their family & I will always be in K's life. God, who is this angel?? This woman, so full of love & compassion, has accepted me as part of their family, just like that!! It's more than I could have ever dreamed of!!
I'm not religious, per se, but I do believe in God. I believe I have a guardian angel that guided me to pick them! Out of all of the faces in that book, what led me to select them?! She has given me the greatest gift I have ever received! The gift of knowing my daughter. I will be eternally grateful to her. None of this would be possible without her love & her sense of security with their relationship. She told me there is enough love in K's heart for all of us! She said, "Who am I to deny her loving you & who am I to deny you of her love?". If that's not a woman who is enlightened, I don't know who is.
The most amazing part though...I get to meet K at the end of June!!!!! There...are....no...words.